cat of constant sorrow.

I don't have bad bad dreams very often. I mean, if I've been drinking too much, i'll frequently have dreams that revolve around some sort of repeating physical trauma, like trying to break up a vicious, sonically-horrible catfight while also simultaneously being stung incessantly by sizeable scorpion/spider creatures, or being slowly and unrealistically ripped apart by multiple tornadoes. But there's rarely any emotion involved in these dreams besides fear and panic (unless pain is an emotion?).

Also I never have the same dream twice in one night. But last night's double feature was like watching two cuts of the same movie. And it was HORRIBLE. It/they literally left me with a feeling I've never had before in my life: hopeless, imminent DOOM.

The gist is that I and a few close friends were on some sort of flying euthanasia/suicide plane/hotel. There may have been a bowling alley. We'd already been given whatever substance was going to kill us, but it was working very slowly. And so we were all kind of looking for each other, I guess we'd separated so that we could all "go to sleep" peacefully or whatever, but then a kind of sheer panic set in where you just needed to see everyone else. But you didn't know what room they were in.

I'm leaving out lots of things that are quickly fading from my memory, but the worst part was suddenly realizing that you wanted to say things to people and couldn't, and it was all going to be over in a matter of hours. Phlblblblbl.


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