changebox.

Hilarious new grocery budget in place starting yesterday which revolves around paying for all groceries with change from the change box. Boxes. First day was pretty easy b/c there were a few €1 coins, so we bought eggs, potatoes, onions, carrots, cabbage, and canned tomatoes for red sauce, just under €8 if memory serves. Today's purchase was €2.50/500g ground pork. Tomorrow we'll run out of coffee and I'll be looking under the couch.

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hot summer night.

 

It was a hot summer night indeed and no this isn't another Meat Loaf post. By the time Le Men left last night I'd figured out one definite way to do at least one variation on a great two-ply lavash "pizza" (two-ply meaning that it's a lavash that could be carefully opened and stuffed if you so desired, but we do not so desire). I'm documenting the technique here a bit more obsessively than usual because I didn't get it right until pizzas number four and five last night and I know that in a week or two I'll never remember what I did.

Here it is: for the marinara version, use a preheated broiler, a rack in the middle of the oven; all the toppings on at the beginning, the toppings in this case being a very light drizzle of olive oil focusing on the edges not the center, one ball of 49-cent mozzarella torn and distributed evenly, really no more than 6 tbsp of good thick homemade marinara sauce distributed evenly, a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a dusting of pul biber. Possibly a sprinkletje of parmesan or pecorino or grana padano if you're a cheap bastard like me.

Put your lavash on a pizza pan. Broil for 4 minutes; observe; broil for another 2-4 minutes or until your edges reach maximum tolerable blacknuss and your mozzarella has some color. This version can't be finished with another drizzle of olive oil or everything gets too wet, but non-marinara versions certainly can and should be. Throw a quick pinch of salt at it and start biting.

Or, the new and improved method I think: a preheated broiler, rack in the middle of the oven. Brush your lavash everywhere with good olive oil. Put your hard grated cheeses on there and some black pepper. Throw it in the oven for 2 minutes. Take it out, put your soft cheeses and other toppings on there (unless they're herbs then save them for last), and put it in for another 4 minutes. Have a peek at it, it could be ok here, or maybe it can go another minute from here, 2 at most. Take it out, throw on the herbs. So 6-8 minutes total. OK, back to the original post. 

With the broil method, things happen fast: I literally assembled and cooked 3 pizzas in 30 minutes (I mean yes, my more complicated toppings were prepared beforehand but cheeses were grated and torn "to order"). Oh and your toppings need to be at least room temperature if not warmer b/c everything's only in the oven for 6-8 minutes.

The versions I did last night:

1) The above, what I would call pizza marinara instead of margherita because the tomato sauce is slow-cooked and garlicky, I always thought a pizza margherita used pretty fresh tomatoes. I think it's an American thing. Not motivated to research atm.

2) Pizza ai funghi with garlic, rosemary, taleggio, grana padano. Might be helpful to freeze the taleggio first for easier grating. This was maybe my favorite of the night, though the taleggio could be too strong for some tastes. Tonight since we didn't have any more taleggio we did a version with gruyere, mozzarella and pecorino that was totally super.

3) That kale + artichoke + lemon + pesto + mozzarella thing. I liked it, but yeah somehow it's not quite right, it distractingly doesn't taste like pizza, too tart maybe.

4) Caramelized onion, caramelized endive, roasted figs in balsamic with shallots, gorgonzola, mozzarella. This was the most luxe idea of the night, almost a dessert pizza and really good. Not totally sure it needs the mozzarella.

5) I didn't really do more than taste the other pizzas last night due to time constraints, so I made myself another #1 while I cleaned the kitchen.

A note on cheapness: this was a pretty inexpensive way to feed a small group at a leisurely pace, but only because the Dirk has a decent mozzarella for 49 cents apiece, 1 ball per pizza. I was prepared to make like 8 with mozz, so I spent 4 bucks. Tomatoes, 4 cans: 1.60. Onions: 2 bucks. Figs: on sale for 6 for a euro. Endive also on sale 8 for a euro. The "gorgonzola" was actually Danish blue, shhh don't tell, 1 euro. Grana padano: 2 euro. Taleggio: 2.50. Aritchokes, 1 can: 1.79. Lavash: 50 cents for 6 of them. So less than 20 euroskis in totale for something like 12 "pizzas", I'd figure on two per person if that's all you're eating.

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by any other name.

Ok, this experiment has been brewing for a few weeks now. Today I find myself mildly hungover and have thus limited my goals for the day to 1) shower 2) grocery shopping and 3) making dinner for Moop since she's continuing her crusade to douche the upstairs (NOTE: my mother has pointed out that "douche" is not a generally understood term in this context, where it means "to clean thoroughly but with a coarse, hurried technique, as if you run a meth lab and you've been tipped that the cops are on their way").

Here is the aforementioned experimental amuse. Turns out that if you accidentally overpuree a batch of the fritter mixture it also doubles as a very mysteriously lifelike veggie burger substitute after you add a little brown rice or bulgur for texture.

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kamaboko + black-eye pea fritters with grapefruit-avocado salsa and/or garlic mayo. 

100g surimi (or possibly reversed proportions, 200g surimi and onc cup of peas)
2 cups cooked black-eyed peas, unsalted if possible
1 canned chipotle chile
1 whole scallion minus wiggly roots
2 tbsp cilantro
2 tbsp fresh mint
juice of one blood orange
1/2 tsp smoked salt, or to taste
1/4 tsp smoked paprika, or to taste

1 egg

1 grapefruit, supremed
1 avocado, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped fine
1 tbsp cilantro, chopped, torn, whatever
juice of 1 lime

1/2 cup mayo
1 clove garlic

bottled tomatillo sauce for a-drizzlin'

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Don't process the cakes too much. You could actually pulse the surimi and herbs a couple times first then add the beans and egg last, pulse it again, and fry from there.

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super saloon.

Finally got a scale today. Thus, we have a new MFSDxiv recipe.

I haven't mentioned it here yet b/c I wanted to see how things went, but now it seems like I'm going to be taking this for a while, so it's worth talking about The Big Side Effect: weight gain. If you Google (when can we stop capitalizing that) "mirtazapine and weight gain" you'll find pages and pages of stories about people who gained like 25-50% of their body weight after starting this. It's unclear how much of it has to do with physiological changes and how much is a result of this medication's secondary classification as an appetite stimulant.

For me personally: let me just say that the last several years of dieting while using marijuana combined with generally being cooking-obsessed has all been awesome training for mirtazapine. Now that the first week of colossal cravings has passed, it's just kind of back to low-level munchies with regular fake low blood sugar hunger spikes. I'm so used to ignoring these brain messages during daylight hours that it's really no effort at all to eat correctly.

Also interesting: pre-medication my normal bad eating times would be between say 10pm and 6am. Not being awake during those hours has made a big difference. But also, I mean, really, after you (or I) take this stuff, within 20 minutes you are not capable of snacking or anything else.

But I do feel really bad for people who aren't ready for it in terms of craving resistance and good nutrition habits, they're most likely fucked.

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sardines with lemon and tarragon.

1 can of good sardines in oil, drained (my go-to brand is Tagine, available at your local Turk/Moroccan)
juice of 1/2 lemon
zest of one lemon (I know, inconvenient...maybe a whole lemon's juice would also be ok)
1 tbsp fresh tarragon, or more, chopped
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tsp capers, chopped
1/2 sweet or red onion, chopped, or if you're worried about your breath/digestion, 1 stalk of celery, chopped

Just combine everything. Good for 3 days in the fridge.

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he all growed up.

Above: Poppy's 9/11 birthday party, with both exploding and non-exploding cake.

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Used to be a time when I'd "borrow" things from my parents' cookbook library, like "permanently". Then came a time when I'd wonder why they had so few cookbooks. Now's the time when their cookbook shelves are a-heavin' again and I'm finally, just now, this year, old enough to not steal any of their shiny new books.

I'd had my eye on their copy of Steven Raichlen's Barbecue Bible for a few years now, because even though it looks horribly generic and cheap on the outside, it's actually chock full o' smart, useful recipes for just about every fucking thing you'd ever want to do on a grill. Lots and lots of interesting Indonesian and Malaysian things, a host of unusual Caribbean things, and even some Iranian and Afghani things I'd never seen or heard of before. Plus dozens of useful, accurate, authentic salads, sides, rubs, sauces, marinades, etc etc etc. I think it's a great book.

So this year I decided that I'm a big boy now, time to man up, so I bought one used on Amazon for 10 bucks. I made something nice out of it in Phoenix a few weeks ago, a coriander-grilled cod with a fresh northern Thai relish of tomatoes, basil, fish sauce, and lime, simple but great. And tonight is a non-grill adaptation, this French Antillean thing below.

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panga with french west indian caper sauce. 

4 catfish or cod or other firm white fish fillets

marinade
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh or 1/4 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp black pepper
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 Scotch bonnet/habanero pepper, minced

sauce
2 tbsp cilantro, chopped
2 tbsp fresh lime juice
2 tbsp water
2 tbsp EVOO
1 tbsp capers
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 1/2 tsp minced Scotch bonnet/habanero
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 large shallot, chopped

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weekly reader.

Still enjoying not doing anything, it's nice!!! This is where we played Friday.

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This week at the Dirk, our sale items are: Rubens apples (Mara's making apple muffins from this recipe to take on tour tomorrow); Napa cabbage (should I try kimchi?); organic pears; and leeks.

Still dealing with last week's pumpkin overload. Maybe it's time to try that smoked mackerel and pumpkin combination that Ivo mentioned here a million years ago.

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bargain huntaz.

Spine-tingling toast! Carrots are on sale at Dirk this week. Carrots and apples. What to do, what to do.

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moroccan carrot salad.

500gr carrots
3 tbsp green olives, chopped
2 tbsp almonds, toasted and chopped
juice of one lemon
2 tbsp olive oil
1 or 2 tsp harissa
pinch cumin
pinch cinnamon
salt and pepper
cilantro

Peel carrots, leaving 1/4 inch of stem attached. Cut them in half lengthwise and boil until tender in salted water with a crushed clove of garlic. Drain and cool to room temperature. Toss them with a little ground cumin, paprika, and salt, and a pinch each of cinnamon and cayenne. Toss together with lemon juice, olives, almonds, olive oil and chopped cilantro,and set aside to marinate for at least an hour before serving.

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lamb, beef, whatever.

At DD's birthday last night we had a seating plan, which worked out wonderfully I thought. I mean, just look at what happened as soon as people got out of their assigned seats (above).

Photos here.

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Today I needed to use up some Cheap Dirk Fish I'd defrosted ("Alaskan Wild Salmon" it's called...it's nothing like what you normally think of as salmon, I wonder if it's humpy). This is an adaptation of a recipe from Cradle of Flavor, I would happily do this again.

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ikan boemboe roejak (spice-braised fish).

1-2 tbsp tamarind concentrate

3/4 cup hot water

4 shallots, peeled

3 cloves garlic, peeled

1 piece fresh ginger, 2 inches long, peeled

2 red Holland chiles, stems removed

700gr Cheap Dirk Fish

4 tbsp peanut oil

2 pieces cinnamon stick, each 4 inches long

5 cloves

2 whole nutmegs, cracked open

2 thick stalks fresh lemongrass trimmed and tied in knots, or 2 tsp dried lemongrass

4 tbsp ketjap manis

3 canned tomatoes, crushed

4 tbsp water

Combine tamarind extract and hot water, stir, set aside.

Add next four ingredients to food processor, blend to a paste, adding a little of the peanut oil if you need to.

Gently fry paste until garlic and ginger no longer smell raw, about 5 minutes. Make sure you don't burn your garlic.

Add fish, stir to coat fish with paste, saute for 5 minutes or so, taking care not to burn the paste.

Add rest of ingredients (including tamarind water), simmer for 45-60 minutes until nicely reduced and things taste right. Remove lemongrass (if using fresh) and warn diners about the remaining whole spices (cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon). Or remove them, but I like to leave them in if there are going to be leftovers.

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return of the living dead.

Or, just me, which is horrifying enough. Happy that my time in sick bay was limited to two days on the couch and that my nose is once again useful as a breathing apparatus.

During my convalescence, I ate nothing but incendiary, flat-out spicy-ass Asian food, hoping to chile pepper my sinuses into submission. Starting with that kimchi jigae, the next step was ma po tofu, and somewhere in there some leftover Surinamese thing which I'll elaborate on in a minute. All of this punctuated by short bursts from my sriracha gun...sriracha on toast with butter, etc. It was the only thing that made me feel any better. Ah, endorphins...

The Surinamese thing. Pictured above, it doesn't look like much, but it's something I've talked about before, basically a can of Morjon sardines plus some other stuff and some green beans, simmered for 30 minutes and served over bulgur or rice or quinoa. It's different every time I make it, but it's always been surprisingly great (and cheap!). Truss me.

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mark's surinamese sardine + green bean thing.

200 gr green beans, trimmed

1 big oval can Morjon sardines in tomato sauce

1 healthy tbsp Javanese sambal (a shortcut for adding shrimp paste, palm sugar, and habanero)

1 onion, chopped

2 tbsp fresh ginger, grated or processed

1/2 cup cilantro, chopped

1 cup bulgur

2 cup water

1 tsp sambal, possibly the same sambal you used above, possibly not

1 tbsp ketjap manis

2 tbsp butter or equivalent

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nog een keer.

Sorry for the semi-gross pictures...they were taken in the dark.

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Wow, it seems that I'm having a real day off. Like not the kind of day off where you drink beer and wander around a foreign city with a loved one, and not the kind of day off where your next work day is something shitty or stressful and it won't stop creeping into your brain, and not the kind of day off where you're at someone else's house eating their holiday hors d'oeuvres...

But like, a day off. A little reading, a little vacuuming, a little laundry, downloading some new music, a little cooking while listening to new music...good stuff.

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As I mentioned, I was having a real day off today, and at a certain point in the proceedings I realized that I hadn't really cooked in weeks. How's that, you say? It's true. But I'd been itching to see if the Momofuku recipes were as good as they looked. Plus I also had this cheap Alaskan wild salmon that needed using...

So the starting point was Momofuku's Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Fish Sauce Vinaigrette (recipe here). It seemed so unlikely, and yet it was made from things we eat all the time, save the Rice Krispies.

Upon tasting, it was instantly obvious that this is something we should repeat often. And yes the Rice Krispies totally work (though, like a bhel puri, you only have about 15 minutes to eat the dish after the Krispies are added).

NOTE: If you're going to try this recipe yourself, it's really worth noting that European brussels sprouts are much smaller than American sprouts, so adjust your cooking time accordingly. For me it took them about 8 minutes (instead of 15) once I put the skillet in the 200C oven. And you really don't want to overcook the sprouts for textural reasons.

The other Momofuku recipe that got made today is the Pickled Mustard Seeds. Also really surprising and totally good. After simmering them for 45 minutes the flavor becomes milder and the texture reaches an almost caviar-like pop. You can immediately see that they'll be awesome with smoked salmon or, well, pork.

And in fact, they're pretty awesome with the below salmon recipe as well, which is not from Momofuku. I hadn't totally sorted out the evolution of the recipe by the time I served it, but some experimentation with the leftovers has revealed that sriracha mayonnaise was the missing ingredient. I could also see how julienned and quick-pickled carrots would be a helpful garnish.

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ginger soy salmon with pickled mustard seeds and sriracha mayonnaise.

3 garlic cloves
1 cup scallion greens
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tbsp mirin or sake
1 1-inch cube peeled fresh ginger
2 tsp sugar
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp sriracha or dochujang
750gr wild salmon fillets

yellow mustard seeds

sugar

salt

rice vinegar

water

sriracha

mayonnaise

Combine first 8 ingredients in a food processor. This is your marinade and later, your basting sauce. I marinated for 3 hours and that was just about good enough. Broil at 200C for 15 minutes or so, basting with the reduced marinade if you feel like it.

cheap thoughts.

I may have mentioned the lack of greenery up in this bitch lately, it's having some interesting side effects. Not the least interesting of which is that, bulging with redundantly hopeful optimism, I actually clicked on the "Monetize" button in my Blogger Dashboard the other day to see if that was the solution to our financial distress. Alas, no.

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Interesting side effects. For example. Ten years ago or so, I used to be what you might call a professional computer geek, during which time I became accustomed to having (at least one of, sometimes two or three of) just about the fastest and best laptop(s) that money could buy, replaced every 9-12 months with a faster and better one or two or three (weren't my money).

Somewhat naturally I think, when I left that job to become a pro bono web developer top secret music distributor ridiculous bohemian musician non-professional geek, I still thought I needed a serious laptop. I was a "power user", right?

A synonym for "power user" is "spoiled mutha". As my personal technoweenery recedes further and further into the gaping maw of Time, my old habits are dying. Instead of buying the biggest (figuratively speaking) laptop I can buy, I'm now looking for something that

1) works when it arrives at my house
2) won't break or otherwise disintegrate like the mostly shitty Dells I've owned so far this millennium (my most recent Precision M70 excepted...you were a really good computer, M70!)
3) is cheap

So when the M70 decided to put itself out to pasture this summer, I decided to experiment with the other end of the scale and go minimalist. In the photo above you see Mara's Acer Aspire 5720Z from last year, a normal-sized PC laptop (also remarkably inexpensive), and just below that, my new Aspire One D250 BTk, which is smaller than just about any of our cookbooks and weighs about as much as How to Cook Everything.

And? It cost €300 and does just about everything the €2000 M70 did by the end of its lifetime (minus the flickering screen and overheating). It runs XP, which is great for those of us who want their audio software to work, and it doesn't have a CD or DVD drive, which is interesting, but on the other hand....it's so tiny!!!

Is very nice, I am recommend.

But: am I ruining the global economy by spending less (don't answer that, it's a trick!!!)?

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Last night I made enough chili to last us a week, which I never do. We both thought it was a good idea to have done so. Sorry about my sentences. Here's a brief note on proportions for Miss Mara's future reference:

500gr dried beans

enough water to cover by three inches

3 bay leaves

1 tbsp epazote

3 cloves garlic

1/2 onion

3 cans tomatoes

1 beer

3 anchos

1 chipotle

1 tbsp pimenton

2 tbsp chile molido (or double the amount of anchos)

3 tbsp cumin

4 cloves garlic

1-2 tsp roasted garlic paste

a healthy amount of black pepper

500gr beef?

2 red bell peppers

1 onion, chopped

butter for sauteeing

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subterfuge.

I have been ill for the last few days, but I am now in tip-top shape and ready to return to the world of knocking all of your socks--maybe even more of your clothing and accessories than that, maybe a fob or brooch as well--right the hell off with my witty and urbane observations about eating cheap food.

What the fuck did I do during this mercifully cool and very rainy downtime? I:

Read Paul Auster's New York Trilogy, during which I closed the book several times and just sat there staring at it because I couldn't believe how...bold (yes, that's a typographic pun) it was. Nonchalantly yet staggeringly audacious (is there a font style for that)? It just made me realize how philosophically easy the postmodern ironicism of the Eggers, DFW, Leyner, etc. crew is. New York Trilogy is really the first book I've read in a long time that I just couldn't believe I was reading. And it's 25 years old!

OK, back to the food shortly.

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