super saloon.

Finally got a scale today. Thus, we have a new MFSDxiv recipe.

I haven't mentioned it here yet b/c I wanted to see how things went, but now it seems like I'm going to be taking this for a while, so it's worth talking about The Big Side Effect: weight gain. If you Google (when can we stop capitalizing that) "mirtazapine and weight gain" you'll find pages and pages of stories about people who gained like 25-50% of their body weight after starting this. It's unclear how much of it has to do with physiological changes and how much is a result of this medication's secondary classification as an appetite stimulant.

For me personally: let me just say that the last several years of dieting while using marijuana combined with generally being cooking-obsessed has all been awesome training for mirtazapine. Now that the first week of colossal cravings has passed, it's just kind of back to low-level munchies with regular fake low blood sugar hunger spikes. I'm so used to ignoring these brain messages during daylight hours that it's really no effort at all to eat correctly.

Also interesting: pre-medication my normal bad eating times would be between say 10pm and 6am. Not being awake during those hours has made a big difference. But also, I mean, really, after you (or I) take this stuff, within 20 minutes you are not capable of snacking or anything else.

But I do feel really bad for people who aren't ready for it in terms of craving resistance and good nutrition habits, they're most likely fucked.

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sardines with lemon and tarragon.

1 can of good sardines in oil, drained (my go-to brand is Tagine, available at your local Turk/Moroccan)
juice of 1/2 lemon
zest of one lemon (I know, inconvenient...maybe a whole lemon's juice would also be ok)
1 tbsp fresh tarragon, or more, chopped
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tsp capers, chopped
1/2 sweet or red onion, chopped, or if you're worried about your breath/digestion, 1 stalk of celery, chopped

Just combine everything. Good for 3 days in the fridge.

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