the bends.

Zowie: OK, I take back what I said about the mirtazapine food cravings, they're weirder than weed munchies. It could be the combination of my semi-encyclopaedic health food knowledge with an appetite stimulant, but I am pretty constantly hungry for some wild-ass shit. Like what my brain really wants is a chocolate milkshake (unusual, I'm not a milkshake guy) but what my filter decides is the only healthyish thing that will meet those sensory requirements and not be 700 junky calories is like a Mexican avocado pudding (basically raw avocado and raw sugar pureed with a little cold coconut milk or almond milk works for me, actually very delicious if you like avocado, but you can also pimp that shit to where the avocado is barely detectable).

Having just watched Trainspotting again, I hear Renton's voice dictating a shopping list of desperate necessities to me: tuna, five tins of; pickles, two jars of; buttermilk, one liter of, to be consumed cold with lemon and stevia; pistachios, one sack of; oranges, one bag of; almond flour, two containers of; stevia, one small bottle of. Mouthwash, vitamins, fuzzy mineral water. That Yogi Tea that tastes like chocolate. Atomic Fireballs. I could go on. One television and 153 carefully-curated DVDs. One white noise machine. Etc.

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It would be amazing if yesterday was "it" in terms of Remeron hangover: I took last night's at 9pm, by 9:05 I felt like I'd been to the dentist (numb tongue), and I was asleep somewhere before 10pm. Woke up exactly at 6am, fed cats, had coffee, and now I'm building webpages, one of those to-do list items that keeps floating somewhere near the surface and that I keep submerging whenever it pops up for air, hoping it will eventually drown ahahaha. Despite that last comment, mood pretty positive, energy feels good, it would be great if it lasted all day. Tongue still acting a little too weird though.

UPDATE: Ok, complete energy wipeout at 11am, as in I had to lay down on the couch, feeling spacy as shit. And I just asked Mara, in all seriousness, "OK, so, what's our Jell-O situation?" I don't even like Jell-O. It would seem that the brain/body is needing more adjustment time.

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