you, sir, are bogus.

Nelson had to go to De Hallen yesterday, and we made the mistake of being reaallllllly hungry by the time we got there. She also made the mistake of being vegetarian and I made the mistake of eating like one.

When you're in a Blood Sugar Emergency you make decisions that you wouldn't normally. For example the first thing Der Nelsker did was to order four pieces of baklava from Filiz Manti. This was the one ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark and stormy afternoon of eating: after 30 seconds of careful num-numming, the rating was 8/10.

Then she ordered a falafel roll from Maza, who normally make one of the falafel options you see in the supermarket, so it seemed reasonable to expect a serviceable chomp experience. In short, "this thing was not very good" she said, in addition to being "bloody expensive" she said and to add insult to injury their bottled water cost "3 euro each" she said. I wouldn't eat there if I were you.

So to save the day. I decided to fucking spring into action, you know, cheer us up and all by ordering something unusual and exciting! This ended up being a veggie dog from Bulls and Dogs, whose sausage-related concoctions looked like one of the most unusual and exciting! or best and/or most decadent things people were walking around with.

Until you took a flash photo of them that is. OK I admit, these two pictures were taken after we had thoroughly sampled the sandwich and declared it "insultingly bogus", and so we were really just trying to insult the sandwich back with these photos. I think the sausage is even missing by this point. And yes that is fucking popcorn on this hotdog.

I know, it looks gross enough to be good, but since we ate the two thin slivers of sausage out of it already you can't tell that there's just wayyyy too much dry and uninteresting pretzel roll, and that the slaw was cut too thick, plus it didn't complement the sandwich in any way taste-wise. And then whatever that is that was supposed to be a hummus mayo or something? I don't know. Ugh. It wasn't bad, exactly. The sausage itself really was pretty delicious, so, props! but the rest....."just because you have all the ingredients doesn't mean you have to put them all together in one sandwich." Our biggest issue was the pretension.

Today we go back for another round, weirdly enough. Targets are vegetarian sushi at Meneer Temaki and/or banh mi at Việt View.

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gay thai.

Went to Som Tam Saturday night and the food is as good as ever, plus the aesthetics of the seating situation are dramatically improved. And thank god the service hasn't reached TripAdvisor levels of acceptability: the restaurant is #2,060 out of 2,828 restaurants in Amsterdam at the moment, which means you can still go there at 21:00 on Saturday night and have an affordable delicious num num time.

+++

the finer points.

Tostiproeftest still underway. The local critical favorite is De Caulils Tosti, and if there are no limits on how you trick your sandwich out, then yes, strong contender. It's like a fondue sandwich. I would've added a pinch of salt, but that's me.

In the "non-gourmet" class, my Amsterdam favorite is Gambrinus (below). Note the Heinz ketchup, the only appropriate ketchup to serve with a tosti. And notice that there's enough cheese so that it can't quite contain itself once bitten into. This is what you're looking for.

ronnnnn.

From a lunch @ Ron Gastrobar with ze Poes back in March. For me it's still the least disappointing restaurant in town: the food looks a little pretentious but the service and atmosphere are anything but; and I've never really had any food here that was less than really good, although I must say I am an expert orderer, I've tasted things from other people's dishes that were less exciting. Also as you may know I don't get out much, so I'm probably easily pleased.

Above: butter and pickles. Below: bread bag; smoked eel + leeks with apple and parsnip, maybe a parsley creme?; gnocchi with Jerusalem artichokes and beurre blanc?; cauliflower with brown butter crumble; tempura mista, the only dish that didn't totally work.

perry's.

Slowly, very slowly, I've been eating my way through the sandwich menu at Perry's. I started about a year ago, and by now I think I've tried about 8 of the 19 options. Favorites so far: tempeh (€2.50, not pictured) lamb meatballs (€2.50, not pictured) and shrimp with long beans (€4, pictured at bottom). Their pom is good, their bakkeljauw is good....it's all been at least good, most of it is great. This one right here is the artificially red fa chong, Chinese chicken sausage (€3).

tostiproeftest.

As part of my wonderful new inburgeringscursus, I've been eating a lot of tostis. After years of no tostis. That is not a euphemism. Regardless: a mind like mine tends to compare things.

There seems to be some kind of direct correlation between the inclusion of a pointless and inedible garnish (unappetizing slices of unseasoned cucumber and tomato) and the badness of the tosti. Without exception the best tostis so far have come on a plate by themselves with regular tomato ketchup as their only companion.

OK, here they are, ranked:

APPROACHING GREATNESS
Caulils, Amsterdam
Cafe Atlantis, Groningen
Gambrinus, Amsterdam
Cafe Thijssen, Amsterdam (pictured above)

OK I GUESS
Cafe De Sigaar, Groningen. A perfectly good tosti demoted/ruined by using a weird ketchup.
Pilsvogel, Amsterdam
Kafé België, Utrecht

















ACTIVELY BAD
Moeke Vaatstra, Zuidwolde: giant and styrofoamy, like a stage prop served with curry ketchup, the whole thing was a conceptual mistake (pictured below)
Cafe De Oude Wacht, Groningen: zero effort except for the tasteless garnish of two-day-old cucumber slices
Huis De Beurs, Groningen: less than zero effort, also featuring a tasteless garnish. Ultimately worse due to its lack of, well, cheese, and its ridiculous €4.00 price tag (pictured above)

THE WORST
Cafe De Spuyt, Amsterdam: insultingly shoddy, not even in a funny way: less than zero effort but also stale, barely warm and completely tasteless, the ketchup was way better than the sandwich (pictured below).























TARGETS
Caulils, Amsterdam (more info, pictured below)
De Kat in de Wijngaert, Amsterdam (I've had it before, but that was a while ago)

what to do.

UPDATED AUGUST 2014: Yeah, update in progress.

UPDATED AUGUST 2013:  Just found these Toko Tests, and Mara really didn't like Tales and Spirits ("up their own ass" was her capsule review), which made me want to update this here post. Since it looks like maybe this is being consistently updated again I thought I'd have the post date reflect this.

+++

ORIGINAL POST, FROM 2011 OR SOMETHING: There's a nice new beermaker in town, de 7 deugden, and wanting to tell the hypothetical you about that fact reminded me that I have a friend coming to visit soon, which reminded me again that I should re-start paying attention to what the good things to do in town are, etc etc etc.

Back when we first moved here and all of our friends were still childless so they had time/money/irresponsiblity enough to come and visit us (seriously), we used to have this document we would give them called "shit close to the shop". It was a semi-comprehensive list of every good address in town we knew, organized by whether or not it was close to our record shop or close to our apartment.

Since my tour guide instinct has/had been reawakened, I'd been thinking about this document and lamenting its loss, when plotseling I just accidentally found it like 8 minutes ago while I was doing something totally unrelated.

So here it is, even though there's no record shop anymore. It's always in the process of being revamped, since it's mostly several years old, but my continuing goal is to have it full of "only places I would happily go right now, today".

+++


shit 
close 
to 
the 
shop 


+++


JORDAAN

vlaming, lindengracht 95. this is mara's new favorite casual place to eat. it's simple cooking, but executed very well and the owner is remarkably friendly and (get this) concerned about your dining experience (!!!). the above address is for the eetcafe, there's also a slightly more formal brasserie on the prinsengracht.
bar boca's, westerstraat 30. small plates, big crowds, great reviews, havent been there yet.
de kat in de wijngaert, lindengracht 160. this is kind of one of our go-to local options, though a bit more for mara than for me: good bar, very good breakfast via uitsmijters (sort of dutch omelettes kinda), above-average tosti (het parool called it the best tosti in town a couple years ago) sum is greater than the parts, a fave.
de oranjerie binnen oranjestraat 15hs. evening bar, decent dutch-style steaks, not really sure why we like it but we seem to.
small world catering binnen oranjestraat 14. tiny Australian-owned lunch counter with hefty, homey sandwiches and fresh juices, open til 6pm. i would avoid on weekends, things slow down to a crawl, and the last thing i ate there really needed salt and pepper. but: it's an ok option for picnic food during the week.
two for joy, good coffee, nice long room that doesn't feel like your typical coffee bar hangout, tasty baked goods
le sud haarlemmerdijk 118. middle eastern vegetarian lunch counter, everything looks fantastic there, but sadly tastes not quite as good as it looks. still, good.
ibericus, haarlemmerstraat 93. temple to Spanish pig, bring your wallet.
hollandaluz haarlemmerstraat 71. good (if slightly less good and slightly more expensive than it used to be) spanish lunch counter, fresh chorizo, good bread, good aioli, good albondigas.
cafe de klepel, prinsenstraat 22, prix fixe menus with wine, good for special occasions
gebroeders niemeijer nieuwendijk 35. real-ish french bakery: decent macarons, good canelés, tarte tatin, etc. a little pricey.
't arendsnest, herengracht 90. great and interesting local beers, mostly dutch not belgian, a rarity.
singel 404 singel 404. "cute" and crowded lunch cafe, kind of mommyish, nearly legendary sandwiches.
de doffer runstraat 12. open very late for drinking.
het kalfje prinsenstraat 5. also open late for drinking plus i've heard they serve food til midnight.
de pels huidenstraat 25. smart little brown bar that seems like someplace newspaper journalists from the 1950s should hang out and chomp on cigars. supposedly pleasant minimalist sunday breakfast, haven't tried it.
sound garden marnixstraat 164-166. punkish but friendly bar with good beer, ancient pinball and/or arcade machines, crappy pool table, and a nice terras in back, probably my favorite bar in town currently (2014).
burgermeester elandsgracht 130. good if completely non-american-style burgers.
patisserie mercan rozengracht 140. definitely worth a detour, a bakery that serves my quintessential turkish pizza, order "a turkish pizza with everything". the difference here? lightness and crispness of the bread. only open during the day.
mesut 2 rozengracht 164, post-drinking shawarma, open late.
akitsu rozengracht 228. supposedly good standard sushi, japanese chef, not fancy at all.
cafe de tuin tweede tuindwarsstraat 13. pleasant dark bar, a regular destination, a bit too crowded on weekends.
la perla, tweede tuindwarsstraat 14. real italian wood-fired pizza, it's the shit. they only open at 5pm, but their other restaurant across the street serves nice homemade pasta and sandwiches all day, plus: really drinkable house red. I think I've eaten here more than any place in town except for the shoarma place next door to us.
la oliva, egelantiersstraat 122-124. this is a questionable recommendation: supposedly interesting and expensive spanish tapas, but i've heard the service is "below average", which for amsterdam is scary as hell.
headfirst coffee roasters, westerstraat 150, top-notch coffee, two for joy's only serious competition in our hood
fraiche, westerstraat 264. good, subtle, sophisticated, affordable, pretty relaxed American prix fixe menus. just don't ask for salt. we also (uncharacteristically) found their wine list a trifle disappointing compared to the food. but it's fun, go.
som tam, 2e goudsbloemdwarsstraat 24. excellent thai takeaway, best we've had in town. great duck, green papaya salad, spicy basil anything...this is our address for when we want foolproof takeout.
terang boelan, 2e lindendwarsstraat 3. above-average takeaway indonesian, best in the hood at least.
yam yam, frederik hendrikstraat 88-90. pretty good pizza, haven't been in a loooooong time.
maloe melo, lijnbaansgracht 163. funny blues/rockabilly dive bar with live music almost every night, perfectly entertaining in the right context.
tripel, lijnbaansgracht 161, the best fake old pub in town, kind of expensive but good music, lots to look at, and you can order standalone frites

WESTERPARK

nassau, de wittenkade 105a. our default bar/meeting place in good weather, nice terrace, mostly edible food it seems, monthly pubquiz, weekly burger night which we haven't tried. Plus, you can order standalone frites
piet de gruyter, van limburg stirumplein 4-6. the other default bar/meeting place, but only if it's warm out, the inside kind of sucks. they have a new menu we haven't tried yet, but it has some nice simple twists.
westergasterras, klönneplein 4-6. calm terrace in the park, i seem to like it more than most people but i'm usually drunk when i'm there. the service can be....forgetful.
pont 13. haparandadam 50. boat eating off in nowhereland, great atmosphere, good small menu with seasonal and local emphasis, a new fave in nice weather.
marius. barentszstraat 243. my favorite "nice" restaurant in amsterdam, u gots to reserve, and i would plan to spend the evening there. some vegetarian friends have had disappointing experiences here, but if you eats meats you should be happy.
worst. barentszstraat 171. next door to marius, a great little wine/sausage bar; sunday brunch from 10 to 2.
gouden reael, zandhoek 14. atmospheric little bar near marius, don't know about the food these days, but it's a french bistro menu, from 6pm every day, looks good, we'll check it out soon.
buurtboerderij, spaarndammerdijk 319. squat farm in the park, fixed up now and with beers from de prael, a nice place to sit outside and drink, the food i've tasted there has been unusually bad: do NOT order the guacamole.


OVERTOOM/WEST

l'affiche, jacob van lennepstraat 39hs. sweet little bar with nice terras, open pretty late.
fenan klein afrika jan pieter heijestraat 147. best eritrean/ethiopian in town.
abyssinia jan pieter heijestraat 190. 2nd best eritrean/ethiopian in town.
kashmir lounge, jan pieter heijestraat 85-87. dark and entertaining coffeeshop.

tomatillo, overtoom 261. edible american-style burritos, not cheap.

kismet. kinkerstraat 350. good turkish lunch place, no atmosphere but cheap
bax ten katestraat 119, slowly becoming my favorite bar in this hood, nice beer selection, very good-looking burger, nice terrace
lab 111, arie biemondstraat 111, lounge-ish bar, but still ok; i spend a lot of time here b/c of work, stick with apps and salads
gollem's proeflokaal huge beer list, good wine/food, plus pubquiz
riaz, bilderdijkstraat 193, ab0ve-average sit-down surinamese, decent ambiance, sl0w but friendly service; this is where i send out of towners for sit-down surinamese
orontes west, hugo de grootplein 8, friendly, fresh turkish, my go-to restaurant recommendation in the neighborhood
mano a mano, hugo de grootplein 6, another lazy option in summer; outdoor eating, decent tapas
mesut, de clerqstraat 59, cabbies tell me it's the best shoarma in town, and open late
cafe zurich, mercatorplein 2B, never been, but i've heard good things; open all day; interesting, affordable menu
fa. speijkervet, admiraal de ruyterweg 79, palace of meat with good and adventurous vegetarian options, open all day, one of the better restaurants in town in my regard
bar baarsch, jan evertsenstraat 91, perky, over-branded bar/cafe with a great beer selection
gent aan de schinkel, theophile de bockstraat 1, nice terrace near vondelpark, good-looking (and smelling) food, a bit cramped inside
OT301, overtoom 301, one of my go-to non-corporate music venues in town
occii, amstelveenseweg 134, the other of my go-to non-corporate music venues in town
butcher's tears, karpersweg 45, the most idiosyncratic microbrewery in town: great beers, great general taste in most things they do (plus they're releasing our record). a little hard to find.


LEIDSEPLEIN

't blauwe theehuis, vondelpark 5, freaky blue spaceship terrace in the park, good in nice weather
soup en zo, nieuwe spiegelstraat 54 not somewhere I'd seek out, but handy if you're there: tasty soups, salads to go, a bit $$ for what you get but i find myself eating here once or twice a year regardless
maoz falafel, leidsestraat 85 worth fitting into your schedule, cheap and wondrous and as spicy as you can take it
cafe de spuyt, korte leidsedwarsstraat 86 very nice nighttime exotic beer place, small, cozy and dark
a taste of culture, korte ledsedwarsstraat 139, terrible name but supposed to be great chinese food according to actual chinese people, open til 1am, 3am weekends
sie joe, gravenstraat 24a, indonesian I keep hearing good things about, closes early
saigon cafe leidsestraat 95, new vietnamese place, lots of pho options, supposedly serving til 11pm daily
eijlders, korte leidsedwarsstraat 47 supergreat old-school bruin cafe, pretty much the only sane option if you're at leidseplein during the day and thirsty, don't know what the food options are. my favorite bar in this hood.
de balie situated next to paradiso, this is the other sane leidseplein drinking option during the day, IJ beer on tap, but this is more of a well-lit media lounge/cafe than a dingy bar
de zotte, ramstraat 29 worth planning to visit: great music, better belgian beer selection and good steaks and frites, been a bit too crowded lately but hey, price you pay and all that.
de klos, kerkstraat 41 this is barely remaining on the list, bar/cafe with supposedly good steaks, a perennial rec not yet explored.
sampurna, singel 498, sit-down indonesian, expensive but friendly, knowledgeable service and carefully spiced dishes...i'd go back.
sumo korte leidsedwarsstraat 51, yes it's all you can eat japanese, with lots of complex rules, but, supposedly done well. hard to imagine under what circumstances i would eat here, but...wait
cafe alto korte leidsedwarsstraat 115, yeah, kind of a fake jazz cafe that can nonetheless be a hoot if your expectations are low and you're already drunk....and hold on:
whiskycafe l & b korte leidsedwarsstraat 82-84. providing serious trouble every day from 8pm-3am. yes, ok, probably a pretty fun night to combine this with the fake jazz and all-you-can-eat japanese listed above.


RED LIGHT/ZEEDIJK/WATERLOOPLEIN

mata hari, oudezijds achterburgwal 22, huge atmospheric living room with a good dare I say romantic vibe, useful terrace, just generally a nice place for a conversation and a drink, quickly becoming a default/favorite.
yokiyo, oudezijds voorburgwal 65, amsterdam's first korean bbq place, friendly people, pretty good food, plus they serve resonably-priced pitchers of beer, which no one else does
china si-chuan kitchen, warmoesstraat 17, my new favorite chinese and one of the only sichuans in town
lastage very well-reviewed french, haven't been yet, expensive, one michelin star. none of this excuses the awful music that starts playing when you go to their website, which makes me not want to visit the restaurant at all, probably not what they intended. but exactly who is excited when a restaurant website starts playing music automatically?
greetje, peperstraat 23-25, one of the few midrange places in town that focuses on the modernization of traditional dutch dishes. haven't been in a while, heard it's still good. service can still be a bit scattered according to IENS, and apparently they're light on vegetarian stuff
de engelbewaarder kloveniersburgwaal 59, the real jazz bar (music on sundays), i've heard the food has gone downhill to the point of being inedible (the newspaper's fondue taste test called theirs "somewhere between burning gasoline and melting plastic"), but still a good place to hang out in general, nice terras.
brouwerij de prael oudezijds voorburgwal 30, newish microbrewery with weird but good ambience, slightly unusual Dutch bar menu.
cafe de kletskop, zeedijk 10. good dive bar, opens at 4pm.
in het aepjen, zeedijk 1. one of the oldest bars in the city but a new fave of Mara, incomparable decor, good music, friendly staff
a fusion zeedijk 130, mixed asian small plates, dim sum and sushi, friendly service
sluyswacht old-ass cafe/bar, nothing special except for building itself, mostly useful for terrace
new king zeedijk 115-117, good but comparatively expensive chinese, homemade dumplings, try the oysters
lokaal ‘t loosje cafe/bar on nieuwmarkt, good peoplewatching
little saigon, zeedijk 88-90, our first real vietnamese pho restaurant
bird zeedijk 72-74, above-average thai for the area
vijaya good indian for this area
latei zeedijk 143, a unique kind of thrift shop vibe for breafst and lunch, heard the food is up and down, but there's something i like about it
nyonya malaysia express, kloveniersburgwal 38, zero atmosphere, very good malaysian.
de tokoman waterlooplein 327, my favorite broodje pom
homegrown fantasy, nieuwezijds voorburgwal 87, one of the better coffeeshops in the center for quality indie weed
greenhouse coffeeshop, overpriced but pretty classic, perennial cc winner


DAM/SPUI

goudvis, spuistraat 4, little place focusing on asian apps, not perfect but pleasant enough, open late
het schuim spuistraat 189, art bar, definitely an odd vibe but i like very much
ashoka, spuistraat 54, well-reviewed Indian, not your standard taste-alike menu
cafe gollem raamsteeg 4, they have every beer
in de wildeman kolksteeg 3, quiet old great bar with interesting beer, a favorite
il pacioconne, sint jacobsstraat 8. variably good pizza and other very Italian things from these Italiani veri
belgique, gravenstraat 2, more great beer, tiny place but usually fun
de buurvrouw, sint pieterspoortsteeg 29-I, late, usually fun bar
the minds, spuistraat 245, another late bar that ron usually drags us to
nes-cafe, nes 33, seedy as fuck but good beer and weed-friendly, til 03:00am wkends
vleminckx, voetboogstraat 33 best frites in town sold through a hole in the wall
lanskroon, singel 385, real stroopwafels and other good homemade desserts (vs. factory-made), daytime only



UTRECHTSESTRAAT/REMBRANDTPLEIN

bar moustache, utrechtsestraat 141, italian with great-looking menu, plus brunch, haven't been
de nachtwacht thorbeckplein 2, there's no way this can be any good, right? steakhouse on the rembrandtplein serving til midnight every night. gets very good reviews, though...you can eat at the bar, etc. maybe we try it.
salsa shop, amstelstraat 32-A, reportedly the only "real tacos" in town at the moment, haven't been there yet


EAST AND AMSTERDAM-NOORD

brouwerij 't IJ funenkade 7, great local beer and terras, limited but good sausage and cheese.
burgermeester plantage kerklaan 37, good if non-american-style burgers.
tolhuistuin tolhuisweg 5, historic terrace just across the IJ
noorderlicht, NDSM-plein 102. summertime hang amongst the warehouses. the food is extremely hit-or-miss
restaurant stork, gedempte hamerkanaal t.o. 96, across the IJ via the ferry + 10 minute walk. not worth a special trip, but if you're over there, it's a very nice waterside seafood restaurant, food is above average but a bit bland...unbeatable view though.
hotel de goudfazant aambeeldstraat 10h haven't been, great reviews by friends
cafe modern, meidoornweg 2, trustable friends say it rocks, haven't been
rijsel marcusstraat52B, owned by the goudfazant people, haven't been yet
wilhelmina-dok, noordwal 1, also across the IJ, a lovely view, haven't eaten there but good for drinks and the food looks great
cafe kadijk indonesian eetcafe, small, expensive menu but supposedly great
frank's smoke house, wittenburgergracht 303, great little takeaway smokehouse with one table, a neighborhood fave. a little bit expensive. ok, a lot expensive, but really good.
snackbar sphinx 2, oostenburgergracht 71. i thought it was easily the best broodje doner i've had in amsterdam, and the cheapest, but maybe more research is necessary
maxwell cafe, beukenplein 27, all around nice pub, w/quiz on mondays, strangely good bitterballen, supposedly good burgers and fondue
wilde zwijnen, javaplein 23, good basic homey cooking, haven't been, friends with taste all say good things, but, yes....still haven't been.
roest, czaar peterstraat 213, difficult to find (ignore the address, look at their map) but very relaxed industrial/outdoor space with faux beach terrace and good beer choices, a little hipstery but friendly nonetheless.


PIJP AND SOUTH

ron gastrobar, sophialaan 55hs, ron blauw's new gastropub, really good, affordable Michelin food plus excellent gin & tonics
vamos a ver, govert flinckstraat 308, tapas place that was the winner of my pijp tapas serch, but I never actually went.
kaiko, jekerstraat 114, supposedly great sushi and supposedly always full, reserve
issa, stadionweg 249, very authentic and low-key japanese, we've been a few times, they have takoyaki!!!
restaurant khan, nederhoven 9 (buitenveldert) purportedly best korean in town
korean garden, europaplein 21, new korean, haven't been
burgermeester albert cuypstraat 38, good if non-american-style burgers
bar boca's, sarphatipark 4. small plates, big crowds, great reviews, havent been there yet.

dopey's elixer. 2e v/d helststraat 52A. classic bruin bar with modern beers and a small terrace.

spaghetteria, van woustraat 123 homemade pasta, great reviews
fa pekelharing, van woustraat 127-129 italian, open all day, mixed reviews but intriguing
the taco shop, tolstraat 200, american people making edible if slightly idiosyncratic tex-mex burritos, very good pork
ijsbreker, weesperzijde 23, nice terrace, above average bar food
little collins eerste sweelinckstraat 19-F australian brunch place, pretty OK on our one visit a year ago, hipster quotient a trifle worrisome (pictures of people in fedoras, indoor sunglasses, and DJ headphones on a restaurant's website are nearly as offputting as tourist menus for me)
pink flamingo pizza, gerard douplein 8, thoroughly unlikely pizza combinations that had us wrinkling our noses skeptically at the first bite and then happily finishing the things 8 minutes later
perry's exotische food, cornelis troostplein 7, takeout suriname/indian food, great broodjes and roti
moksi, ferdinand bolstraat 21, historically great surinamese food, plan on takeout b/c it's small in there
cafe gollem, daniel stalpertstraat 74, yes, the belgian beer bar, this is our favorite branch
troost, cornelis troostplein 23, oddly designed brewery with an unfortunate PIN/credit card only policy and surprisingly delicious flammenküche.
zaza's, daniël stalpertstraat 103, TripAdvisor's #1 Amsterdam restaurant last year...for better or for worse. Never eaten there, but have heard good things from everyone.

GETAWAYS

de jufferen lunsingh, westervelde
de kop van 't land, dordrecht


+++

perry's surinamese and indian food.

I've been spending an inordinate amount of time in De Pijp lately, in a slightly more southern sector that I'd never really explored before. And suddenly this old list of targets is totally relevant: out the front door, the pub on the corner is Dopey's Elixer, a cracker of a brown bar with an a unusually good beer selection and pretty good-loooking food. Out the door to the right is Perry's, a solidly above-average Indian/Surinamese takeout place. Below is their broodje pom, very good, probably in our Amsterdam top 3. Hopefully we'll get around to hitting the Boca's around the corner once summer weather feels like showing back up.

bomboni.

Yesterday: De Kat, Puccini, Het Schuim, Baba, Mata Hari, Il Mare, and the Doubletree SkyLounge, quite a view and not necessarily as bad a place to hang out as it sounds. Great homemade spicy cocktail nuts made me wonder how the rest of the food was.

Sunday, before I forget: De Engelbewaarder and Bird Thai and surely something after that. Monday, De Prins, Belgique, and dinner at the central office. Tuesday, De Tuin, dinner at the western office, then Ellington downstairs. Wednesday La Perla, etc.

+++

my funny valentines.

It's been a week of pizza and beer. And Thai, and beer. And frites. And etc. Somehow we have not gained 40 kilos, probably because we have covered nearly every square meter of Amsterdam on foot. I'll compile a full and fully impressive list of everywhere we went after today, since today is the last day of Living Like Someone Else.

Pictured: shockingly good pizza from Il Pacioccone, I'm almost sure it gives my current fave La Perla a serious run for their money; Vermeer; The Rijksmuseum; Dutch snacks at Cafe Loetje just before my brain doctor appointment.

Not pictured: Gollem in de Pijp, where Mike developed a man-crush on the bartender; our grocery-laden visit to Belgique, groceries that included Hertog Jan and requested birthday tompouces; Office Space, Super Troopers.

Also not pictured: Wednesday's visits to 't Aepjen, Cafe Karpershoek, Cafe de Tuin, De Kat in de Wijngaert and many other places. Please let it stop soon.

zoomed out.

gastrobar ron.

My extra-luxurious birthday present from Megasubtiel Corp. (and Groupon) this year was lunch at the recently Michelin-starred Ron Gastrobar. It was, well, many things, but mostly it was a slightly surreal and great afternoon well-spent with the folks from Megasubtiel (including their supremely well-behaved and generally amazingly placid new hire) in a restaurant environment about which I literally have nothing bad to say.

Will we ever be able to do it again in total pimpish style like we did today (considerably less than half our lunch is pictured here)? Mmm...not any time soon, even with Groupon's help. Will we come back relatively soon and sit at the bar for, say, one €15 plate of really really good deboned BBQ spareribs and a shockingly affordable (for Amsterdam and Michelin) superlekker gin and tonic? This sounds extremely likely.

Pictured below: view from the table; view from my seat; Gin & Tonic menu; oysters; smoked eel from Rokerij Eveleens "in het groen" with leek salad and red quinoa; uitsmijter with fried mushrooms, an egg over-easy, and duck liver confit; pan-fried salmon with lentils, eggplant, and capers; deboned BBQ spareribs with smoked beet, homemade sambal, and horseradish (this one's a cellphone pic); my dessert of really good chocolate cream puffs with Bailey's ice cream and banana; J-Kim's dessert of guava, cream cheese, and some other small things I couldn't really figure out; and the grand finale of cosseted baby foot served in an organic wool footie.

autentico mexicano.

Good news for the eight Nederland-based readers of this blog: there's finally a real soft corn tortilla maker in town. They're called Tortilla Factory, based in Halfweg, Mara met some of the folks behind it and yes they are very friendly and very Mexican. You can order their tortillas via their website, or possibly via some other electronic means but their website is down at the mo, I'll update with deets when it's up.

Also, good news for the two readers of this blog who live in this very house: I'm making stamppot for the first time tonight, using dear, trusted KK's eight-year-old eG guide as my own basic guide but taking a liberty or two. I'm doing a very non-traditional and kind of Southern onion and black pepper gravy, which is where more than half of the ingredients are coming from.

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stamppot (kale and potato mash with smoked sausage).

500g potatoes
500g kale, rinsed and chopped fine
water to cover
pinch salt
one knob butter
milk to moisten

300g rookworst or other smoked sausage

2 shallots, quartered
one small sweet onion, diced medium
125g lean bacon or lardons
2 tbsp water/stock/wine to deglaze
1 tbsp butter
2 tbsp cream
enough milk to eventually make the right amount of gravy, I ended up using at least 1/2 cup
a pinch thyme
a dried sage leaf or two, crumbled
several grates of nutmeg
more freshly ground black pepper than seems prudent
salt to taste

So cook your bacon/lardons over low heat for 20 minutes or so, or until the fat is full rendered and meat is crispy. Remove from pan and set aside. Put the shallot and onions in the pan and deglaze with the wine, water or stock. Add butter and cook on low for 10 minutes or so. Add cream, milk, herbs and spices and simmer on low for 10-15 minutes or until sauce is appropriately thickened.

For the rest, cover the peeled potatoes with just enough boiling water to, well, cover. Add kale on top, and mostly cover. Simmer for 20 minutes or until taters are done. Now, you could apparently also put your sausage in this water and heat it up that way. When potatoes are done, remove sausage if you're doing it this way, then drain the rest and return kale and potatoes to pot. Mash together, add butter and enough milk to reach desired consistency. Salt to taste.

Serves 4 if you double the sausage.

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carrots like mom used to make.

3 cups sliced carrots (1/4-inch thick or so)
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp raw sugar
salt to taste

Steam carrots until almost the way you like them, for us this is about 10 minutes. Take carrots out of the pan. Melt butter in pan, add sugar, stir til sugar dissolves, adjust sugar and butter to taste, return carrots to pan, stir to coat, salt to taste. Served 2 as a side, but we ate a lot of carrots.

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restaurant bak.

UPDATE: OK, here's what everything really looked like.

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Last night some kind person bought me dinner. OK it was in exchange for some services rendered, but still in no way was it obligatory and after a couple postponements the fact that it actually happened and that it was very enjoyable was a pleasant affirmation of some goodness in the universe (though certainly fleeting, Mr. Schopenhauer, I haven't forgotten about you).

We ate at Bak, housed in Het Veem just northeast of Westerpark. As you know, we don't do restaurant reviews around here, but since I found my meal peppered with things I wouldn't ordinarily do in the kitchen, I'll briefly run it down for you so you could also go enjoy something like my meal if you wanted.

We all four of us decided to go for the 4-course menu for €33.50, and basically they have a laundry list of ingredients that they're going to use each week but you have no idea in what configuration they're going to end up on your plate. They ask you at the beginning if there's anything you don't like, one of us was anti-mushroom for example, so she got something a little different for that course.

The first thing set in front of us was an amuse of baby beet in some kind of buttermilk reduction with an uncommon herb whose name escapes me at the moment. I liked it and will be trying this in my kitchen.

Next was my favorite thing of the night, an array of carrots. There's a lemon creme fraiche underneath. There are little al dente bits of either spelt grains or wheat berries scattered everywhere, there's some tarragon in there, and as it was served our waitron grated a roasted coffee bean over the plate. Sounds pretentious as hell, I know, but it really worked.

That surprise was followed by the least-successful dish of the night, and you can almost tell by looking at it in comparison to everything else that it just seems a bit...unfinished. Maybe they ran out of something. What you're looking at is too-lightly pickled cauliflower; pleasant enough halved potatoes, a green I should know but don't; a gigantic poached duck egg, and the tastiest thing on the plate is that white smear under the egg, it's some kind of thickened cauliflower puree.

We all agreed that something was missing, my personal fix would have been a healthy shave of parmigiano and a crack of black pepper, and maybe a tiny sprinkle of smoked salt. Or my old standby pangrattato. Anyway, we couldn't fix it, no salt and pepper on the table. Swing and a miss, this one (though I cleaned my plate).

Vegetarians avert your eyes. Our "main" was pheasant with sauerkraut, potato (?) puree (possibly another root vegetetable), and a super-nice saute of fancy mushrooms. Maybe this was my favorite thing of the night. I felt bad for the non-mushroom eater at our table b/c the mushrooms and sauerkraut together were dreamy. Yes that is a foot at the end of that leg. My war on birds continues unabated.

And then dessert, sweet sweet dessert. I really have no idea if this was any good or not objectively speaking because as of last night I hadn't had any sugar in about a week. And my first bite of this was like setting the controls for the heart of Serotoninland. My eyes may have spun in their sockets. I think it's some kind of very-carefully spiced fennel seed ice cream with a flourless chocolate cake and a swirl of unrememberable berry. And a few wonderful nuggets of caramel popcorn tucked here and there. I could easily have had another plate or two of this.

And that was it. Thoughtful, well-executed food in a gezellig room (lit more dimly than my pics suggest) that was only marred by the two giant tables of reuniting ex-fraternity boys (literally, like singing their fraternity song at one point) who were seated behind us halfway through the meal. But then moments later, in the most aggressively proactive customer service moment I've ever experienced in Amsterdam, our waiter asked us if we would like to move to a table farther away. I almost said to him "Get the fuck out of here" in disbelief. We didn't up and move, but yeah, mind: blown. Maybe things are changing, service was great all around, unobtrusive and likeable.

So, yes, go to Bak.

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