Above: surveillance camera footage from a security incident at the compound earlier today. You can see that Mara is only barely able to fend off the relentless jaws of the intruder (using some hand-to-hand combat skillz she picked up during her spell in the Corps) and protect her sandwich (who seems completely oblivious to the danger at hand).
We attribute our success in this matter to early detection: our sensors picked up a not-totally-unpleasant sound being emitted by the assailant...it sounded like it was saying "Oaxaca, Oaxaca" over and over. But that doesn't really make sense, does it? I mean, there wasn't anything remotely Mexican about the sandwich:
It's definitely more of a "Italian sub" vibe: cucumber, red bell pepper, red onion, tomatoes, lettuce, aged Gouda, oregano, balsamic vinegar and mayonnaise. Psst: don't tell, but I had a bite of this while Mara was fighting off Mr. Oaxaca Oaxaca, it was just like Blimpie used to make.
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Below: one of many severely endearing old photos of my mama as a lil' chillun.
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