top guitar hero brazil.

I've been experimenting with "new relaxation techniques", one of which, a theta wave headphone track, may have just given me the worst dream I've had in recent memory. I'll flesh this synopsis out when I have time, but essentially the key data points would be: a Top Chef kind of show but for hundreds of guitar players instead of chefs; set in Rio de Janeiro; I was partners with Amy Adams who pretended to be very nice and sweet to me at first, like we were best friends and really hitting it off, until the cameras were rolling and then she incessantly made fun of my belly during the first challenge, which everyone found hillllarious; me subsequently running mostly naked through the thankfully deserted halls of the TV studio in a way that reminded me very much of Carrie (they're all gonna laugh at you).

When I eventually made it back to my room, I found that Amy had turned the other contestants against me so thoroughly that they'd destroyed my suitcase and remaining clothes and so all I had left to wear for the remaining two days of the competition was a cooking oil-soaked camouflage outfit I found in the shared kitchen (it was MutliCam, a term I just now learned for the first time). I think it was used frying oil.

That evening of course, the cast and crew all went out to a chic and stylish outdoor terrace for delicious Brazilian food and cocktails, tanned and dressed in pretty awesome outfits and enjoying themselves immensely while I sat alone in my wet-yet-crispy camo jumpsuit. After an hour or so of this, I decided to seek relief by going off to shop for new clothes (at 9pm or so) via Rio's public transportation system, and well as you can imagine I got off in the bad part of town and was chased by people with machine guns and machetes for several hours.

I did experience a nice moment walking home from Favela Massacre mode where I stumbled into a tourist attraction that was basically these gently fluorescent caves with crystalline pools of water lapping at themselves in a quiet manner. Very peaceful. If you could hear my theta wave recording this would make perfect sense. When I returned to the TV studios in my by now rather supremely uncomfortable camo, I limped into the ungently fluorescent shower room and slowly shaved my full beard into a bushy handlebar moustache. I emerged from the showers to find everyone else returning from the final, mandatory rehearsal, which I had of course missed, and thus I wouldn't be allowed to participate further, though I could stay and help clean up afterwards if I liked.

I was well, a bit "down" after all this as you can imagine. This being Day Three of the dream I finally had an impulse resembling, "Hey, wait: doesn't this all sound suspiciously like my normal neuroses (body image; social anxiety; performance anxiety) combined with the real-life events of the last month or so (hundreds of guitar players; unfamiliar public transportation; shaving off a beard; I just watched like 3 days of MasterChef)....maybe it's a good idea to stop and FUCKING CHECK AND SEE IF THIS IS REALLY HAPPENINGGGGGG" and I immediately woke up to discover that I'd only been asleep for two hours. Suuuuuuuuper relaxing.


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