This entry is in-progress. I could just save it as a draft, but I never finish anything I save as a draft, and I would like to finish this.


I really thought I was going to write some kind of year-end wrapup for 2011. I had all that time and everything, from, say, 21 December til, say, now, and then, yeah, nothing happened. Excessive punctuation happened.

OK, useful things too. Reorganizing the apartment happened. Going out like normal people happened.

I read something about introverts a while back that seemed familiar enough to where I kind of adopted it as an explanation for why I do things. It basically said something like "extroverts thrive on social contact and are energized by it, whereas introverts are worn down by it and need time to process their experiences and recharge before continuing to be social", or something along these lines. 

And basically for me, 2011 was a year of downright historical amounts of social contact, so it would make sense that the quiet aftermath would involve a proportional amount of processing time. I think at some point around October it was almost like I couldn't handle any new social/experiential input b/c I had this backlog of recent input shit that needed dealt with. 

I mean yes, also, perspective: it wasn't like any of this just "happened" to me. I did it all to myself. But yeah, the two big new things I did this year, I did them at the same time: one work-related and planned, one personal and totally unplanned, and together they just tore my unprepared ass up.

What's the opposite of a phoenix? At a certain point I just devolved into this frustrated, selfish, burned-out, more-unhealthy-than-usual version of myself because it seemed like I was constantly failing at everything, including the existing personal life I'd enjoyed pre-2011.

Lessons Were Learned. Personal Growth Occurred. Etc. But: if you were engaged with me in some humanoid form throughout the March 2011-December 2011 timeframe, I'd like to simply offer you a brief but heartfelt apology and say: I think I'm better now.


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