Just putting this recipe here because this household frequently ends up with bananas that fall into the category of "no one but me would consider eating them anymore", also fkn known as "perfectly ripe".

What is it with ripe bananas? Or with people and ripe bananas, we can hardly blame the bananas. I know barely a single goddamn human who will tolerate a banana outside of this 24-48 hour window it takes to go from slightly green at the ends to having more than one brown spot, hashtag First World Problems ect ect ect.

Jesus Christ, anyway: optimism! And banana bread. I'm stealing a recipe from Oh She Glows b/c goddamnit I must be even more testosterone-deficient than I thought. I'm also probably going to fuck up what is probably a perfectly good recipe by substituting buckwheat flour for any or all of ohhh-I-can't say-it-again-so-we'll-acronymize-that-shit OSG's carefully-tested options.


banana bread. 

1 1/3 cups (320 g) mashed very ripe banana (about 4 medium)
2 tbsp ground flaxseed
1/3 cup oat milk
1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
2 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons (60 g) "healthy" sugar (I accidentally used 1/3 cup this time)
1/2 cup (50 g) rolled oats
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 1/2 cups (210 g) buckwheat flour (I used 1 cup buckwheat and 1/4 cup almond meal this time)

ALSO: I've just made a version that included 100g of toasted chopped pecans, in which case you can add another banana as well to keep it moist.


Preheat the Mister Stoves to 160°C. Wait, first buy an oven thermometer so you have some idea what temperature you end up with when you set Mister Stoves to 160°C. Then thoroughly oil a loaf pan with, duh, oil, I mean really get up in there, mash it into the little HEMA logo and everything....and then set aside.

In a large bowl, mash the banana until almost smooth, and make sure you have 1 and 1/3 cups. I ignored this last instruction. I know that I had at least 1 and 1/3 cups. OK. Stir the wet ingredients (ground flax, nut milk (snicker), melted oil, maple syrup, and vanilla) into the banana until combined. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients ONE AT A TIME IN THIS ORDER: sugar, oats, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and flour. Control freak. Stop stirring when there are no flour patches at the bottom of the bowl. Spatula that shit into your HEMA loaf pan and spread out evenly.

Bake the loaf, uncovered, for 30 minutes or so, then check and see how it's going. My edges were getting a little too dark, so I dropped Mister Stoves by 10 more degrees and put foil over the top of the pan. You're trying to "bake until lightly golden and firm on top". The top of the loaf should slowly spring back when touched. This should take about 45 minutes in total. Place the loaf pan on a cooling rack for 30 minutes. Then, slide a knife around the loaf to loosen it and gently remove it from the pan, placing it directly onto the cooling rack until completely cooled (or to hasten, obviously not my verbiage, the cooling process, transfer to the fridge for 45 minutes). WTF.....I have never lived in an environment where any loaf of banana bread would survive this "cooling process" intact. You'd be lucky if there was half left by the time it was cool.


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