Bet you're wondering what happened to me, or maybe you're not. I'm guessing you're about to find out regardless: I'm in America.
One of many reasons that I haven't been blogging is that my visit here was a surprise to a few of the primary recipients of my presence, and I was very afraid that I would blow the surprise.
But now I'm here and can blow any surprises I want to, which I will begin doing imminently. Until that shining moment, I shall pepper the hypothetical you with random fun facts from the last 2 months of my life. Here goes:
1) I believe I have exhausted Facebook's ability to hook me up with my friends. When I go to "Suggestions" now (the feature that suggests people that you should probably be friends with), the only people left are people that I actively avoid in social situations. Clicking on the "Suggestions" button is a little bit like a terrible nightmare, or like a gig I went to a couple weeks ago where all of these UnFriends were in attendance and I spent most of my time hiding behind a large ornate column. Not really, but I wanted to hide behind a large ornate column. BTW, posts like this are the reason that I won't be hooking this blog up to Facebook anytime soon.
2) Monday morning I awoke to find a large black dead dog in my hallway. No blood, no one else around, just me, my full bladder, and Death. This is no way to start one's day. As I explained to Klary in email shortly thereafter, my next moves were to A) go back into my room and then go back into the hall a couple of times to make sure that the dog was truly dead, which it was. And then B) begin to stress out because my brand-new catsitter (who I've just met for the first time a few days ago) was showing up for duty in less than 24 hours, and, really, how do you explain any kind of large dead animal sitting outside your apartment door? "Oh don't bother feeding that one, hahahahahahhaha"? Long story short, the answers to your unasked questions are: the neighbor; epilepsy; shortly thereafter; I don't know.