here's to health and happiness.


Here's to good friends,
Tonight is kind of special.
the beer we'll pour
must say something more, somehow.
So tonight (tonight),
Let it be Lowenbrau (let it be Lowenbrau).
It's been so long.
Hey, I'm glad to see ya.
Raise your glass.
Here's to health and happiness.
So tonight (tonight),
Let it be all the best.


Ah, the good old days. Cheesy imported beer jingles. Sunny summers. Massive pork consumption by me.

Those days are all....gone. Goodbye, cheesy beer jingles. Goodbye massive pork consumption. I'll see you both in heaven.

Yes, it's that time of year here at Vegetarian Duck where we pause for reflection and glance back none-too-carefully over the year's "accomplishments", and...as we do so this year, it becomes apparent that there may well be a sort of confession to be made. What I'm saying is that, well: objectives are not being met (note the use of passive voice to avoid responsibility).

I don't know know if any of you recall, but the original purpose of this blog was to document healthy eating habits.

If you've only tuned in recently, this may surprise you. It was certainly a surprise to me as I found myself browsing the archives the other day for some reason. "Hmmm.....interesting. Yesss....but: wait just a cotton-picking minute here...hold up, hold up. You mean to tell me? This here is health food this man's going on about. Brrrgh (shudders). There's no call for that here at all, mister. None. Now pass me that ribcage. Naw, just the one."

Even as recently as two months ago!!!!! (exclamation points courtesy Barrel Fever)

So it is with a heavy heart, sloped shoulders, sagging gut and a generally sober, chastized demeanor that I return to...massive pork consumption! No...I mean, healthy eating. For real, people...for real (cue Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", indicating that it's a moment of deep spiritual reckoning for our protagonist)...


Just so that we all understand what this means from an excitement perspective, behold my throbbingly sexy breakfast:

That's right, All-Bran cereal with oat milk, papaya and banana. Can you say "Old Man food?" I'm teasing. This was actually totally delicious, which means that I am now 100% certifiably an Old Man.

For real, now: ripe papaya is something that I have never loved, the taste is too close to the edge of an overripe floral note that reminds me of stagnant vase water or ineffective underarm deodorant or something (mmm!). But I started getting ready to give it another chance when eGulleter johnnyd raved about its restorative properties in his fantastic eG foodblog about Portland, Maine a couple weeks back, and then I read a couple other things about papaya being a legendary contractor in the liver repair business.

So I threw some on my All-Bran, and hoo-boy, that's good eatin'! You kind of already have to like All-Bran, which, being an Old Man, I do. But the papaya is actually a good match, significantly more interesting than the normal cereal fruit suspects (blueberries, strawberries, bananas).


OK, this post was supposed to be about how I'm supposed to be eating orange foods. Maybe the next post will be about that.

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