planting seeds of defilement.

According to some, that's what the (new) name of this site is doing. Not purposely or maliciously (Dear Mother, if you're reading, you know I would never willfully plant seeds of defilement, you raised me better than that), at least not that I'm aware of.

No, I just thought the phrase "vegetarian duck" was pleasantly stupid-sounding and also represented one of my veganism obstacles and so that's why I rechristened this site thusly. Regardless, I'm here to tell you that I'm increasingly finding myself to be a true convert of these centuries-old but now politically-incorrectly-monikered Asian vleesvervangers. And believe you me it's not just the savvy marketing/eye-catching packaging!!!

In fact it's almost completely a quesiton of texture variation, because their primary taste characteristic is that "they don't taste fucked up", like so many meat substitutes. Today I sauteed my frozen duck substitute with onions, ginger, shao hsing, sesame oil, hoi sin, peanuts, spinach, and scallions, and the result was tastebud transportation...to somewhere with rude service, flourescent lights, and sticky plastic menus. Basically anywhere on the Zeedijk.

Actually that's a total Amsterdam Tourist Book Food Writer Myth. I've never had anything but lovely, reassuring customer service experiences on the Zeedijk (you know, involving food...I score my crack rock at the CS and do my karaoke at home). I've never understood that whole "expect surly service" cliche that goes with our Chinatown, but maybe it's because I rarely eat at Nam Kee or New King. I do kinda really want to smack or pinch this cashier at Oriental Commodities who just oozes contempt and misery and consistently throws my receipt on the floor instead of handing it to me. Not sure how the smack/pinch would help things, but...my point is, at places like AFusion, Bird, Toko Dun Yong, Toko Joyce, Wellcome, Nyonya, Kam Yin, Hoi Tin, etc...everyone's been real sweet, much more so than your average non-Asian Amsterdam restaurant.


Back to my mock duck. I've had a much higher proportion of positive experiences with the frozen variations vs. the canned kind, but this is maybe not surprising, as almost any canned food is inferior to the frozen version (exceptions: tuna, sardines, uh, uh...anyone? silkworm pupas?).

If you have no idea what I'm talking about with this whole Satan Duck thing, check here, or here. But don't buy the canned stuff if you can get the frozen stuff.



1046 said...


MEM said...

Hopefully this is not someone accusing me of planting seeds of defilement. I'll attempt to communicate in a moment.

MEM said...

OK, well it says something about adding allspice. I wonder if he or she (or Babelfish, actually) means five-spice? I didn't add five-spice because I was already adding hoi-sin.

But...in any case, thank you for your comment! Hopefully I will be able to successfully translate it one day.