bless your heart.

I have other things I should really be doing, but felt compelled to share. So I was out on TripAdvisor for a moment because tomorrow La Nelson is visiting Amsterdam, where I myself am for a few weeks visiting creatures like the above cuddly bundle of joy, and you know I just wanted to you know brush up on what's what here since I imagine I haven't had a restaurant meal in the city in a long while I think.

So I'm checking out some nearby places that are pretty unique to Amsterdam that I used to go to and I'm brainstorming a bit and whatnot and I think, oh yeah, wonder what ol' Japanese Pancake World is up to these days. Case you don't remember they serve okonomiyaki, a much-loved substance of this blog's earlier days, sometimes debatably referred to (is it wise to highlight a word your spellchecker disagrees with, wtf "debatably", that's a word you asshole) as the Japanese equivalent of pizza, not because it tastes anything like or has a single ingredient in common with pizza but because it's all over the place and comforting and commonly eaten late at night after drinking, like dude omfg I'm wasted i need a slice or something etc. In any event, it almost always contains seaweed and/or optionally, dried fish. It will definitely remind you of the ocean, which come to think of it is not even really La Nelson's bag in the first place so it probably shouldn't even be on the list in the first place.

MY POINT BEING: the second TripAdvisor review out there could almost be a troll/parody but I'm pretty sure it's not, the reviewer is from Atlanta after all where, bless their ignorant fucking Trump-voting little hearts, by and large they know absolutely fuck all about the rest of the world (thinking about, among many other things, last November's visit to L5P, where we met a lovely young man who was pretty sure Holland was in Norway or Denmark, despite our insistence to the contrary).

By the way sometimes you just have to love Urban Dictionary's succinct and vulgar accuracy, describing the so very Atlantan colloquialism of "bless his/her/their heart" as "(...) the most Southern 'fuck you' there is. Can be put at the end of a phrase to nullify any cruelty." I guess the trick to said nullification would be to not insert additional cruelty between the "bless" and "heart" portions of the euphemism. Ah well.

Anyway, TripAdvisor review. Here it is:

We went here because it was rated one of the top 5 pancake restaurants in Amsterdam. It's a nice little place, but the food was horrible. So bad neither of us could finish ours. First of all, the pancakes we got smelled like dried fish even though we did not order any seafood on our pancakes. This was very weird and unsettling. Second, the pancake was mushy, more like dough then a cooked pancake. They had way too much ginger on them. The flavors didn't meld. They were terrible. I lost my restaurant-choosing privileges after this meal. Avoid this place, the food is horrible. 

First of all, I have eaten these pancakes and they are 1) large and 2) not cheap. I would looooooved to have seen rob1270's face after he took his first bite, chewed like 1.5 times, maybe 2 times, and then slowly looked down at the enormous rest of the pancake he had on his plate.

And this is why not to have a restaurant. And this is why some people shouldn't leave the house. Thank you rob1270, that will be all: absolute shittiness of people and the diabolically cruel double-edged-swordness of the Internet that I helped give to everybody confirmed for the quadrillionth time this month.

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