the tree was inside it all along, part 3.

Installment 3 of: just to be clear, because I used to hate it when I would find a blog that would talk about addiction struggles and then the blogger would disappear for two years: today is 993 days (minus 2) without alcohol.


ghost kitchen.

Yeah. Jotting this here because I can't find it online anywhere. 
The idea is that I've been baking with aromatics a lot lately, and these two Paula Wolfert variations seem like an interesting thing to add to a cake in place of "2 tbsp rum" or other alcohol. You can also flip the proportions of orange blossom water and Armagnac.


basque aromatic mixture.

2 tbsp orange blossom water
2 tbsp anisette (not pastis)
2 tbsp dark rum
50 ml Armagnac
1 tsp almond extract
1 strip lemon peel


dill + peanut.

3 large aubergines (1.2kg)
some neutral oil
coarse salt

4 garlic cloves, peeled and minced
1 long red chilli, very finely chopped
2cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and grated

zest of one lemon
1/2 cup toasted coconut
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tbsp tamarind paste
1 tbsp soft brown sugar, or more to taste
1 tsp ground cumin
¾ tsp ground turmeric

100g delicious peanuts, either pre-roasted and salted or you-roasted and salted
100g crunchy peanut butter

water to thin
salt and sugar and lemon juice to taste

Fried onions
Fresh herbs – a handful each of mint, coriander and dill, all chopped
Steamed rice and/or salad


pickled tomatoes.


400-500g cherry tomatoes, halved
2 scallions, greens and whites, sliced diagonally
1 green chile, chopped
½ cup white vinegar
⅙ cup brown sugar
2 tsp flaky salt
1 tbsp thinly sliced ginger
1 tbsp thinly sliced garlic
2 tsp mustard seeds
2 tsp black peppercorns
2 tsp ground cumin
1 bay leaf
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp turmeric
½ cup blended oil (50/50 canola/olive)

In a pickling jar combine tomatoes, scallions, and chile. In stainless steel saucepan, bring vinegar to a boil, add brown sugar and salt and cook until dissolved, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat. In a bowl next to stove combine garlic, ginger and spices. Heat oil in stainless steel saucepan until hot, add ginger/garlic/spices and cook, stirring constantly, for 4 minutes, until “aromas are released”. Remove from heat and carefully stir in vinegar mixture. Immediately pour over tomato mixture. Wait at least a day to eat, lasts 5-7. 



1500mg turmeric
1 cod liver 


u n f e s t i v e.

"Ever stop and think about how many people you've already seen for the last time?" Actually yes, I do/have, and it's not really the worst thought of all time. How many still-living people in your life do you actually need to see again? I think my number is "less than 10". 



f e s t i v e.

These things go together. 


Caramelized Garlic Tart (thyme)
Cognac Pears with Fennel and Hazelnut

Anna Jones
Mushroom/Rice/Chestnut Roast (sage, rosemary)
Celery Root + Sweet Garlic Pie (mustard, sage, rosemary)
Roast Potatoes (rosemary)

Carrot Osso Buco (mushroom, red wine, vadouvan)
Rodekool (clove & bay leaf)
Aardappel puree (butter & nutmeg)
Endive/Blue Cheese/Hazelnut/Pear/Honey/Mustard


dupuytren dosing.

 Merry new year. Starting experimental protocol today, hand hurting. 

1) 400mg magnesium citrate internally
2) 50 micrograms Vitamine D (2000 IU/IE) internally
3) 3mg Boron internally. 

4) 5 drops Mg oil topically
5) 5 drops primrose oil topically