winter.

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MUSHROOM BOURGUIGNON
4 to 6 servings
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6 tablespoons butter
450g mushrooms, quartered
250g shallots or sweet onions (one big onion is fine)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 carrots, cut into coins
1 parsnip, possibly 2 if you like them, cut into whatever shape you like
3 garlic cloves (2 minced, 1 grated to a paste)
1 tablespoon tomato paste

2½ tablespoons all-purpose flour
1½ cups dry red wine
1½ cups beef, mushroom or vegetable broth
2 tbsp tamari or soy sauce, plus more to taste
3 large fresh thyme branches or ½ teaspoon dried thyme
1 rosemary sprig
2 bay leaves

OPTIONAL:
Smoked paprika, for serving
Polenta, egg noodles or mashed potatoes, for serving
Finely chopped flat-leaf parsley, for serving

Step 1

Add 2 tablespoons butter or oil to a large Dutch oven or pot and set it over medium heat. When hot, stir in half the mushrooms and half the shallots/onions and throw in the rosemary sprig. (If it doesn’t all fit in the pot in one layer, you might have to do this in three batches, rather than two.) Without moving them around too much, cook the mushrooms until they are brown on one side, about 3 minutes. Stir and let them brown on the other side, 2 to 3 minutes more. Use a slotted spoon to transfer mushrooms and onions to a large bowl or plate and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Repeat with another 2 tablespoons butter and the remaining mushrooms and onions, seasoning them with salt and pepper as you go. Finish by removing the last batch of mushrooms and onions from the pan.

Step 2

Reduce heat to medium-low. Add another 1 tablespoon butter or oil to pan. Add carrot and parsnip and sauté until lightly golden and everything starts to soften, 5 minutes. Add the 2 minced garlic cloves and sauté for 1 minute longer. Stir in tomato paste and cook for 1 minute. Stir in flour and cook, stirring, for 1 minute, then add wine, broth, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, thyme and bay leaf, scraping up the brown bits at bottom of pot.

Step 3

Add reserved cooked mushrooms and onions back to the pot and bring to a simmer. Partly cover the pot and simmer on low heat until carrots and onions are tender and sauce is thick, 30 to 40 minutes. Taste and add more salt and soy sauce if needed. Stir in the grated garlic clove and saute for 2 minutes. Serve over polenta, noodles or mashed potatoes, topped with minced parsley and a tiny pinch of smoked paprika if you feel like it. 

how many times do you live.

2 handfuls seedless red grapes
olive oil 
flaky salt

8 sage leaves
2 tbsp salted butter

50g mascarpone or cream cheese
75g blue cheese
(these cheese amounts are approximate, you want a sauce that mostly tastes like salty blue cheese but is also creamy like mac and cheese)

zest and juice of one lemon
2 tbsp hazelnuts, skinned and coarsely crushed 

1 Belgian endive, coarsely chopped
1 small handful arugula

200g dried lumache rigate (medium-sided ribbed macaroni)

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Roast grapes for 20 minutes at 220, turning halfway through and checking often to make sure nothing's burning. Saute sage leaves in butter on low heat for 10 minutes, careful not to burn the butter. Nutty brown butter is OK. 

Melt cheeses in a small saucepan. Add lemon zest and juice and hazelnuts to melted cheeses, salt to taste. If sauce is a little thick you can add some pasta water during the next step. Cook pasta.  

Toss the pasta in the cheese/nut/lemon sauce, add sage butter, ladle into plates and garnish with grapes, arugula and endive. Sprinkle with flaky salt and freshly cracked black pepper.

Serves 2.

street life.

I just listened to someone outside on the street try to open a bag of Doritos for roughly 90 seconds. I looked outside after the first 30 seconds because the clarity of the sound itself was so incongruous, like why can I hear that like it's happening inside my room and yet I do not have a bag of Doritos. Weirdly, thankfully, I could not hear the triumphant crunches afterwards, but also, if it took you that long to open a bag of Doritos, wouldn't you just Tasmanian Devil fistfuls of that shit for the world to hear. 

how to ruin a night on earth.

 Become convinced that you've lost your wallet. 

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regrets, i've had a few.

 But let's focus on the small lessons first. 

1) If you have a good bakery in your neighborhood, support them. Don't buy shit nutritionless crap that was made 45 minutes away in an industrial warehouse or factory. If you have a good anything in your neighborhood that's owned and operated by people you can actually see and talk to and the vibe is good, spend your money there. 

2) Stop trying to impress or prove yourself to people you just met. None of the people you admire/respect did this when you met them. 

3) The sooner you can get comfortable with silence and inactivity, the better. Filling up your mind with serotonin-jacking distractions will not lead you anywhere, unless that distraction is a creative endeavor, in which case you are one of the luckiest kind of people there is. 

4) There is nothing inherently wrong with routine, for many things this is the only way they can be done. Baking bread, exercise, sobriety, for example. 

5) Work on your flexibility, like yesterday. 

6) If you have never made your own croissant and egg sandwich at home with a great croissant from your local non-industrial bakery, you are missing out on something important. 

7) If you have stage fright or performance anxiety, invest some time in getting over it at the earliest age possible. Being afraid of expressing yourself in front of other people is not going to lead to a more satisfying life. 

8) Addiction is difficult. Try to cut yourself some slack if you are one of the afflicted. 

9) Learn how to give up on things, unless your tendency is to give up on everything, then learn how not to. 

10) Accept that the end is coming, and live your life accordingly. 

self-archival.

like the song says: 

As if i needed a reminder
ohhh that I do only what i wanna
So I go through with this

I knew happiness when I saw it

https://youtu.be/weL8HTY1NJU?si=fd7NXIwFaL-Xsl4V&t=235

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archivaris.

You know what's a really weird way to get to know somebody? 

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